Saeng il chuk ham ni da

I always do these sorts of things… every new year I will make resolutions… exercise more, be more tolerant and less short tempered, be more sociable, study harder, procrastinate less. And of course, I always forget and they never come to happen.

I really, really cannot remember if I usually do this: make resolutions on my birthday. Wow, cannot believe it but I’m 22 years old. And yet still I have no direction in life. I’m not really a person who is good at mapping out my future. Perhaps if I was less indecisive, perhaps if I was more confident in my skills and my passion, I would be more sure of making future goals and mapping out my future. For a lot of myself its always been ‘take it as it comes’. Taking things a step at a time. Slowly and steadily. But to have no plans for the future… well, it makes me scared of the future constantly.


Work/career:
I can’t really say that I would love to be a teacher, or that I would love to be anything in particular. I am so uncertain and indecisive I have no idea about anything. I would absolutely love to become a writer, but yeah, I don’t think I’m too fantastic at that one.
Well, firstly plan one is to do that two year degree at Deakin for education… if I don’t get into that, I will have to opt for primary school teaching at Monash all the way in Pennisula!
Next step is finishing up that Chisholm TAFE course in writing, one year already out of the way, one more or two more years to go. Should be easy.
I haven’t really thought further than that. Perhaps going back and doing some more study in something like business… something more practical and has jobs out there available

Relationships:
Ha, which do not exist. Bleh, well certainly not to be involved with anyone like AJ ever again! It was nice to have someone there, although his time was divided and he was always busy. Whatever, over it.
One thing that whole thing has taught me is that self perceptions are not always right. What I thought I would never do – interfere on someone else’s relationship, and be with someone who always has a girlfriend, and have something with someone that isn’t really going anywhere and isn’t really a relationship at all – I allowed to happen because I was bored and, rather selfishly, liked the attention. I sound like such a slut!! Lol
I’m not sure how I’m to improve in this area of my life. But I dunno, just don’t get myself involved in stupid complicated situations and just be friendly and myself.

Self:
Be more tolerant and not so short tempered. Be more sociable. Go to gym more regularly. Do the things that I should do, that I avoid doing. If I don’t take the opportunity to do these things now, I may never have the opportunity to. Stop procrastinating (as I am doing now!!)
Be brave and more carefree. I stress and worry about stuff too much.
Manage my time better, be more organized and procrastinate less.

Money:
Set up that ING account and like Jenny try to work out a budget – only using a certain amount of money per week and transferring the other amount into the ING savings maximiser in order to remove the temptation to slurge!


Today I was sooo silly! I met up with Nik – uni friend. He wanted to shout me coffee (aka hot chocolate for me) and cake for my birthday, but before that I had to quickly pick up some books I had left in the lockers (which you hire for 3 hours) anyway, so I did that, then rushed to pick up siblings and went to Knox in the hope I’d find a pair of jeans that I so desperately need! As we started walking, I felt in my back pocket… I still had the locker key and in about ½ an hour it was due to be handed in… man it’s like bloody $5 a fine PER HOUR if it’s late, so I left the siblings to shop, while I drove baccckkk to Monash. How irritating and such a waste of petrol! But at least traffic there and back wasn’t too bad. I ran to the library and handed it in… I was about 5 minutes away from getting fined… soooo lucky!!

I’m thinking about just messaging my friends and asking them if they want they can come over for drinks and pizza just to hang out. I keep have this fear that people will be bored and then just leave… argh. I want to do something for my birthday with friends, but nothing too big, I just really want to hang out and see people. There are so many people I have neglected recently. And I guess if people get bored, we can always head out to see a movie or go to the Irish pub as much as I hate how there’s no room to dance. I have gotta organize to go out clubbing somewhere soon, it’s been ages since I last went! I wanna dance and listen to some good music!!
If people get bored and leave, nevermind, coz then just us cousins (if the boys are there or not) can just drink up… lol, I still wanna see Jenny get drunk... and then we can watch Kim Sam Soon. How does that sound? Do you think the cousins would be up for some Cranium… or was Dennis really just referring to just an exclusive cousin thingy?

And I still wanna do karoke… Jenny, you hhhaaavvvveee to come! We have to do it!! It will be funnnnnn!!! My first time… is it your first time too, Jenny?

Argh too long a blog, should have been doing some reading on this essay proposal… argh but soooo tired now… procrastination should be a job… I’d be soooo good at it!! Lol

Sleep time for me…